� Daughter. � 2002-11-24 � 2:22 p.m. �
Mum makes me think too hard sometimes... about my curse in this life and how hard I am willing to fight it.
She forces me some to reflect on my own weakness and fall in my strength...
She makes me look in the mirror and see beyond what's there... a sister, a twin I knew in the comfort of a womb... and no longer.
And she wonders how that has changed me.
Well, Mum... how hasn't it, really? Every piece of me belongs to her... for every bit of me that fails... it fails because I don't have her. I lost half my strength before I even began here.
Miracle of life... pitting one sister against the other while still in utero... a struggle for breath, and blood and life... a war in the womb that no one but she and I could control... or couldn't.
If it wasn't for her I would be normal and heathly... if it wasn't for me, she would be alive.
Who holds the guilt? You for not having a body strong enough to support our fight... or me for killing her without choice?
It's guilt without responsibilty. And it's easy for you to say not to feel that way... it's easy to say that's not the way it was...
But isn't it?
We were both there... and we have both been here since.
How do I quantify something that's taken me my whole life to get?
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