� La Vita � 2002-09-15 � 5:54 p.m. �

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We argue sometimes...

Each of us feels that we're holding the other back...

He says he's holding me back from school and a career I can only dream of while I live with him... he says he holds me here in a city I hate....

He does.

I say i hold him from the weekends he had back in the days of Perfect... I say I hold him back from a happiness he planned then... one not belonging to me.

I do.

Truthfully... we have nothing in common but love for the other and our cat.

But something tells me the cult thump of this ordinary life won't leave me... won't leave us.

We talk beyond the day... beyond the week and month... we talk about babies and buying a house... with a pool so i can pretend I live somewhere more like home. Warm.

Our babies... our house.... my pool. I can't honestly say i saw myself here at anytime... let alone now...

I am atypical of everything... I never conform to regularity in any sense... I never just walked a road... I paved it as I went.

And now this very typical life is creeping up on me... sometimes I feel trapped...

But mostly I feel wealthy... and calm... and the things i used to worry would hurt me... can't come near me.

I spent my life living in complicated... not by choice.. i spent good years in defeat....

And now finally... simplicity has delivered this.

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