� And the Thunder rolls... � 2002-04-08 � 9:45 p.m. �
I am lost with you...
I've tried a million times before... and I've believed you... and in you... and I've tried to understand you... even though the laws of possibility were against me tenfold.
So what would you like me to say, Hunny? That I am sorry?? That I believe you this time? That part of this is on me cuz I've been a shitty friend since the last time you pushed my help away?
There comes a point when I just don't know... anything more than I love you... and I want you well.. and I want you to change yourself DRASTICALLY... that i want you to know that was the smallest step in scarring your reputation for life... not with me... but as a whole...
I wonder why you even bother with me anymore... when all you have to share is all these plans you have and I have yet to see you live.
We have years behind us... and I have tried so many times in those years to help... God, i could replay nights in my mind where I all but begged you to get help... The nights you would phone me stoned... and I'd wonder why... and then the rest of me somehow understood.
You are inevitable I guess.
I am worn... and if I was less of a convienence to you, and more of a friend... you would know just how tried i am.
i am sorry you're in trouble... and I hope you do what is right this time... if you can.
If you need me to listen... you know you can phone.
Today is the best day of all for you to forever quit... i am here if that is what you are honestly ready to do.
I can't watch you fall anymore.
And i won't.� previous � next � comments � diaryland � old �