� Blowing leaves... � 2002-04-03 � 8:49 p.m. �
~The sun lets the moon shine through the windows of your soul.~
I have washboard memories... thoughts like splintered glass...
There are definitely certain pieces to my past I miss... certain moments... certain faces...
The dance...
A ritual of sorts... my closest friend and I... he'd drop through my window late at night... and you know... we were never what we could have been... but we danced like magic... like our souls were one...
Ever have childhood friends like that? I dunno maybe he was half imaginary... maybe he only existed when I need him. I know he felt that way...
He felt as though he was there for the sole purpose of picking me up and tearing me down as he saw fit... quality control...
But i remember everything... the way he'd hold my hand when I'd sleep... twirling my rings with his thumb... the rise and fall of his body's breath... i remember it all.
Outside he was worn... no one I would ever let my parents meet... he didn't need the risk of disapproval again. Inside I found more... his heart dusty -his vision obscured.
We were from two different worlds... he rich with a platter of silver... had it all - and a habit. I... just a little girl from a little town... with a lot of nothing... but hope.
It took three years for us to build a trust... and then we were everything.
He drops out of my life when he can't stand the sight... he thinks I don't know that... that i haven't figured that out... You know, I've never done that.
I've seen him around Femme Fatales... woman who have used him... who have chewed him and haven't had the decency to spit him back out...
I never said a word... i never turned around... and I never walked out.
I am feeling ugly today... feeling like my lips are spread across my face... that my hair isn't hanging right... that I have circles like tarpits under my eyes...
My mind remembers his voice... "Beautiful people are just beautiful, Hunny... where's the talent in that"
There is none....
If you think I don't miss you, friend, because I have the half to my whole... you're wrong....
You should call... and we should dance.
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